This has been an amazing journey. It’s hard to put words to it. I have learned a lot and internalized some of it. All of us may not realize fully but we have definitely changed for better as a result of going through this knowledge. And it will stick for rest of the lifetime. I hope to gradually increase my internalization, slowly undoing the conditioning built-in long time ago. For now, I have quieten’ed a bit and calmed down on my feverishness a bit. I’m a lot more aware and can see my emotions, feelings and thoughts. And knowing the fact that moment (pleasant and unpleasant) too will pass, helps in not getting lost in those moments and move like a cloud untouched.
I can see how it’s all happening, like water flowing in the river. Earth has been around for few billion years and will be there for long time or doesn’t matter. There are 7.2 billion people on earth now, and every 70 to 100 years, they all get wiped off and next set of several billion people join. I’m just one of those 7.2 billion people, for infinitely small moment in this time scale. The earth itself is infinitely small on the scale of universe. No matter how great I’m and what I’m able to accomplish, first it doesn’t matter and all of it will be forgotten in a few years. In a 100 or 1000 years later no one knows even if you’re a president of US or richest person in the world, etc. so what are we trying to prove and to whom. As part of one meditation we practiced visualizing death and what we want to do before that, I can clearly see that if I die today, nothing changes and everything will move on, including wife and kids. They will be fine in a very short while. Everyone else moves on even faster within a few days. I have very clearly felt this in Art of Silence course recently. It’s us or our minds attaching the importance to our existence.
I had many ‘aho niranjana’ moments and every one of these sessions are packed with very powerful knowledge. Hence, it is the highest form of knowledge. I had been thinking about freedom long before Ashtavakra and found an answer in 5 principles and many more examples like that. Higher Consciousness and Adwaita are powerful concepts. I’m just a drop in the ocean, which has same composition of the rest of the ocean, yet I’m part of the ocean and can call myself Ocean. Same thing with god/divine/universe/creation. I’m part of the source and I’m god. And there is no two, god and I are not separate. We are all one, one big consciousness.
I definitely moved closer to the centeredness while I’m still way too far from the center. As you mentioned, it is infinitely small point to walk-on and hard to be there all the time. I can see with practice, daily meditation and continuous knowledge one can make good progress and move further close to centeredness.
You’re an amazing teacher. Just knowing you is a great blessing. You have made all the difference and it is so powerful hearing it from you. It is amazing to see you so selflessly dedicated to helping all of us. As you can tell I have benefited tremendously and I recommend it to anyone. I’m so grateful to have gone through this knowledge and cannot thank you enough.