Question: Jgd Ekta di, Are dispassion and disinterest one and the same. I have lost ambition in Career. I do whatever job is given to me. But my Boss has started noticing it that I don’t go beyond what was asked of me and don’t bring new ideas to the table. A similar thing is happening to people around me who say I don’t love them. I am not involved, etc.
But when I see Gurudev, I see him doing everything with such attentiveness as he is here only to that particular task. He doesn’t look disinterested even though He is dispassionate. How to be like that and how to come out of my present situation? It’s a bit scary not to have plans, ambition, passion.
Dispassion has many stages to it. In the initial stages, dispassion seems similar to disinterest. But the stages will progress ahead and its flavour will change. It is a natural happening on the spiritual path so don’t worry too much about it. it gradually transforms like the green leaves transform to a yellow, then to orange and finally to a beautiful crimson red before falling off the Maple tree in Autumn.
Let the transition take its time, its a natural process. It cannot be wished away. It’s flavour/ colour cannot be changed at will either. Only time will tell whether you are a maple red or a maple yellow or a simple green deciduous leaf. In the end, that colour change also doesn’t matter because every leaf eventually falls off the tree.
You will get there once you ripen totally. Once there, everything appears like a game, a play. Then you start playing the game with equal enthusiasm, no matter what the task at hand is. But one must wait to ripen. One cannot force oneself. If you force a bud to be a flower by pulling at its petals, you will only destroy the bud. It will never blossom. That is a real danger on this path. That’s why let nature take its time. You just be!
Learning to let life just take over and just be is an art. Because we are such control freaks, we start thinking that we are running our life out of the passion, ambition, drive that we have. But this is just a lie that every person is telling himself. Somewhere deep down, we all are aware of the truth, that how much ever we try to run our lives, we are not really in control. Everything happens in its own time if it needs to happen. Our striving and thirsting do not necessarily make things happen. There is definitely something higher that is running this game and we are really under HIS control.
Once the Ego makes way for this truth, the feverishness to run drops away. It cannot even be evoked by an external source because you know it as YOUR TRUTH now instead of just theory. This takes time. Give it its time.
Meanwhile, just practice being with what is. When you truly learn to be with what is, you learn on your own about the changing colours of dispassion, the higher power playing the game, the Ego that struggles to be in control, the TRUTH that we are all just waves, we arise, play for a while and fall away. When all this becomes apparent to you [in your own experience not in theory taught by Ekta or the Guru], then you will attain the supreme TRUTH and fall off this tree of Maaya.
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