Similar to what’s said in AG 4- I got caught in identifying with a talent and also with not having a talent & was/is suffering. What Guruji said still repeats in my ears. He said “you don’t know who you are”. I started thinking how and when will I know what I truly am. I understood I still didn’t get it. When or how will I understand it completely Didi?
As the question is ‘When will I get there?’, I will urge you to have infinite patience. Because we are not in control.
Our Ego’s don’t let us acknowledge this easily. Ego wants to be the doer and take full credit. Ego does not want to let go of control. The moment you step onto the spiritual path, the Ego gets shaken. It still tries to make you feel that by YOU DOING something, YOU will get to the highest Truth. It cannot accept that the key is ‘Not doing’. That’s where you start losing patience.
But every now and then, you do step back from the Ego and get a glimpse of the Truth and this glimpse gives you the patience to carry on. Have patience dear, it takes some time. And how is this amount of time determined?
By the permutation and combination of your own Trigunas + Tridoshas + Karmas. Don’t be in a rush. This is the path where you have to learn to have immense patience.
If you had asked me, ‘How will I get there?’ Then the answer would have been – ‘By DROPPING DESIRES’.
When you reach a stage where there is no desire left at all, then you attain and get established in the highest Truth instantly.
Desire belongs to the Ego. Self-realization belongs to the Self as the name suggests
Ego is the biggest barrier that does not let you attain the Self. Ego is the biggest barrier which wants to give you an identity. Identity = Desire. When all identities drop, you attain to that Truth of ‘Who You truly are’.
So the key is – observe your desires/vasana and work towards realizing their futility so that they drop away automatically. Do not suppress them but rise above them maturely. Suppression will not get you there, but realizing the futility of everything in this samsara definitely will! Vijwaro bhava!
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