I am not very talkative and like to be in knowledge. My Mother in law is the opposite and whenever she is around she keeps talking a lot. I try to stay quiet but she expects me to talk too. And if I am quite she will not stop trying until she makes me talk.
She is complaining most of the time. And it is very disturbing. Many times she is verbally abusive. Which affects me. In such cases, I just don’t talk and she takes it as my weakness and tries to suppress me even more. I don’t know what to do and it leaves me drained and tensed. It has affected my health also badly.
I have tried to talk back. But that does not feel good to me later because that’s not my nature. How can I just be silent in such situations? Should I just try to avoid being around her and meeting her if it is affecting me so much?
The most important thing that you should realize is that your mother-in-law is one of your very strong past Karma. There was some exchange with her left incomplete in your past lifetime. That has brought her back. Think of it as a loan. You took some loan but you haven’t paid it off yet. Don’t try to evade payment now. I know the interest must be higher because it is a long time, but see that this time around you pay it up completely.
In simpler words be with what is. Drop this Dvesha against her. However difficult, the situation might be, just go with the flow. Do not create new Agaami Karmas with her. And how does one create Agaami Karma? Through Raaga and Dvesha. Drop all Dvesha towards this past loan and just pay it up calmly. That is the best solution. If you pay it up calmly you will end the cycle. If you nurture the Dvesha by adding more manure to it, manure of hatred, manure of repulsion & running way, manure of emotional outbursts etc it will only lead to a future Agaami seed.
The choice is yours! Do you want to meet her in your next lifetime again? If not, then drop the Dvesha right now and be with what is. I know this requires a tremendous amount of courage and strength and I know you have it in you. Keep moving! Charetveti, charetveti, charetveti!
Humans are different from animals because we have the power of discretion then why my mother-in-law cannot use this ability? I guess the answer is lack of awareness, lack of knowledge. But then what do I do? I know good from bad, then do I just let her keep walking over me like this all the time? Do I include her and take her with me when I go gold shopping? I hate doing tit for tat. But even I am human and I have feelings too. I keep telling myself I don’t care and that it doesn’t affect me, but I am not sure.
You will have to figure it out, dear. Krishna told Arjuna that these are the principles of Karma Yoga and Gnyana Yoga, now you must take the decision to fight or not fight. Krishna clearly said that the battle belongs to you my dear Arjuna and the Karmphalam also will belong to you, thus the decision also must be yours. I will not take the decision for you. I will just highlight what Karma Yoga dictates but the decision is all yours!
Similarly, I have told you all that is needed to be known in the Karma session sweetie, now you must take your decision as to what is good for you and what is not? What is right and what is wrong? Let your own self – inquiry lead you to the truth 🙂 To be or not to be is your decision Arjuna!
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