Dealing with Possessiveness

Question:

What if it is not me who is possessive, but someone else is possessive of me , rather obsessive almost to the sick levels of possessing me, what is that I should or should not do.

Answer:

Recognize that it is just a play of the elements and that person’s karma exchange account that is making all this happen. Sometimes, to just handle the situation with Gnyana, is all that is required. He/She is possessive of you because of some extremely strong impression from a past life, probably. Remember, every impression will slowly fade away with time. Every Sanchita karma will get exhausted. With love, you must handle the duration until which this impression lasts.

Question:

Is that element of fire (lust, possessiveness, jealousy) that is dominating in the other and in a way an aversion in me towards this whole situation and person is also fire element in me is dominating and as long as I recognize and tell myself that I am bigger than this fire element, will it drop?

Answer:

No, it won’t go away. It is your Prarabdha karma. It is like you are already on the highway and driving. You must keep driving on the highway until the next exit comes. If you keep driving with an agitated mind, you might miss the exit. That’s why it is important that you maintain your calm. That will ensure that you do not create any agami karma and still get through this Prarabdha smoothly!

Question:

I see that this whole dynamics between body/mind complex is nothing but of five elements — between different so called bodies/minds, it is just an exchange of five elements in a way of being manipulated that causes some pain and suffocation as I have no enough space to breath sometimes. Knowing that these 5 elements is not me and thus this body/mind is not me, being a witness to this whole situation, how can I completely dis-identify with this body as myself? Constant happenings in the body / mind bring back attention constantly to it, how can I be a mere witness?

Answer:

You can easily be a witness because now you have recognized that all this ‘play of the elements’ is happening to the body and mind. And you are not the body mind complex. You are just in this outfit of body/mind because of certain karmas. And you will soon discard this outfit. It is not who you are. You are the one who is seeing this drama of elements happening to the body/mind outfit. Keep seeing the drama. Don’t jump in. Keep a distance. How ever difficult the situation might be, just distance yourself from the situation and observe what is happening. This stepping back from the situation needs to be a constant practice. It is a skill just like playing the piano or guitar. You cannot become a rock-star overnight, similarly, this skill needs time to cultivate and mature. Keep practicing, this is what is called Abhyasa by Patanjali.

Question:

There is constant struggle, fight with in me to be free, strategy-zing, analyzing, and constantly being a warrior trying to safe guard, not sure what?

Answer:

The mind will definitely struggle when you attempt to take a step back and be a witness. Because when you take a step back, the ‘mind’ becomes ‘no mind’. The mind struggles when you attempt to take its identity from it. That is what the mind is trying to safe guard. Recognizing this struggle is a skill of the highly aware individuals. You are aware, pat yourself on the back. Now have the courage to go through this fire of the mind. That is called Tapas. Come what may, don’t back out. Again and again, remember to be a witness again and again.

Question:

Some times I just accept that the other person is just jealous and I am bigger than this all, and have peace with it  and not worry about doing anything to protect myself ? This is all happening when I am in one channel of this complex, but then when I tune myself to another channel of constant divine presence, I experience bliss. How do I stay there? I seem to toggle between both channels and it is sometimes a struggle to switch seems lots of hurdles to overcome. How can stay there forever? Should I learn to deal with both, so one day I will know how to gracefully switch and be where I want at will?

Answer:

Yes, you must learn the skill of gracefully stepping back again and again. This toggle will happen only until you are not an expert in being a witness. Just like you will fumble and stumble with the strings of a guitar only until you become an expert, like that, you will toggle only until you become firmly established firmly in the Self. Have patience with yourself, you will get there soon, with constant practice and incessant patience!

Question:

However, being in bliss has its own drawback of not able to perform my daily duties and be with family and that is one thing I am not sure how I can manage being in blissful state.

Answer:

This is an incorrect understanding. Being in bliss is not equal to being excited like it happens in happiness. Bliss means a complete level of peace. Neither does your graph pike with excitement nor does it slump with sorrow. It remains at a constant balanced graph. That is the best way to do any action in this world, without a doubt!

If you have questions, please feel free to send it by clicking on the “Ask a Question” button on the left sidebar.

 

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